Stupid fears

                                                   

I never really feel I was young,but still Im afraid to grow up, I hide myself from life,I run away whit my chess game made of moonlight, shadows, memories and anxiety, I play whit it until I fall sleep, I cheat myself whit it thinking thats the only thing i can do right.Nightmares are looking for me and their rides are the future, they found me, we know eachother for so long that they take their time to rape me.Then I can't hide myself any longer, I dont go for life ,she come to me and slap me in the face, although some times she kiss my hand.I was always afraid of changes, growing up, making friends, rejection, people, love, compliments and be in front of the board at math class.
There was a time I had more fear of  living than of dying, Im just waking up to the rest of my life, it could be interesting but my bed is so warm...humm maybe after some caffeine this stupids fears will go away, after all Im a big girl now, I can have all that I want, and maybe someone will say; can I have some too?...Hey,chill..Im new at this.