Pieces of a lost freedom...

           
                                         

Today I woke up and the sun
was shinning very high
the sky was blue and delicious

like a lollipop and I was all
alone at home,
to enjoy my excentricities(music)
whitout reproval looks.

And I think of you,
there where so many things
left to share, so much beauty
in the world I could show you
from my side (south).
I miss you is not enough
to say how much I want
to see you, and every piece
of light and dark and every
music chord makes me feel

more sad and melancholic..like a monkey in a cage missing the trees

Bleeding pain, crying love

                                                 

I used to have a beautiful treasure,

thousends of precious stones,

one more beautiful than the other...

There where your words, 

in every poem of you 

that I could read,

they take me to a 

beautiful yard full 

of mango trees,

a place I used to know

and that I miss and love..

Whitout them I feel lost,

is a physical pain,

I feel it in my bones,my skin,the tears in my eyes, I feel my spirit struggling like a man being hung..Hoping that someone cut the rope..

Scars from a common yesterday

           
                                             

I feel I know you from another century
another sky, I feel that your smile 

reveals my heart,

tell me if I have

 scars from a common yesterday.

I feel that I know you and

 I feel that you remember me, 

tell me if you recognize my eyes,

 dont leave me again..    

Stupid fears

                                                   

I never really feel I was young,but still Im afraid to grow up, I hide myself from life,I run away whit my chess game made of moonlight, shadows, memories and anxiety, I play whit it until I fall sleep, I cheat myself whit it thinking thats the only thing i can do right.Nightmares are looking for me and their rides are the future, they found me, we know eachother for so long that they take their time to rape me.Then I can't hide myself any longer, I dont go for life ,she come to me and slap me in the face, although some times she kiss my hand.I was always afraid of changes, growing up, making friends, rejection, people, love, compliments and be in front of the board at math class.
There was a time I had more fear of  living than of dying, Im just waking up to the rest of my life, it could be interesting but my bed is so warm...humm maybe after some caffeine this stupids fears will go away, after all Im a big girl now, I can have all that I want, and maybe someone will say; can I have some too?...Hey,chill..Im new at this.

Haiku

                                                       

His lips taste like gall

what a dirty bitterness

causes me his perfidy. 

Freedom...?

                                                                        

Today I saw a

black and grey

rainbow while

my silver cage

was at one hour

and a half of 

being opened.

The sky was 

white and my 

guards where 

eating some 

useless time,I 

was cold,very

cold my hands

where turning 

into purple and 

my comrade was

telling me about

his nightmares,so 

I was counting the

minutes to fly away,

but fly where? to my

golden cage,of course.

5:30 am

            How many hours does a day have? 24 I believe,but why some days is just one awful and disgusting hour repeated over and over again?.

             The same words,same complains the same emptyness everywhere all the time.In thouse days there is just some things that remindes me that Im not just a zombie handled by the devil.When Im on the bus whit all thouse people,I look at their faces like stones,probably going to a place that they hate just like me,and so I wait until that part of the road when I look through the window and my face lighted cuz Im looking to an explosion of colours,the smell of the air changes and its the sunrise coming in all its glory,filling me whit its beauty and its beauty gives me back some hope,a spoon of pace that my spirit and my heart taste gratefully.
                I get down of the bus and I start walking looking at the trees,listening how the wind gives them a voice, I want so much to be a part of thouse sounds,thouse movements but my blood and my bones are too heavy,maybe the day i'll get free from them I could finally reach the natural perfection.

Again

                               

Again you make me cry, I can't understand how you mix the most impossibles emotions in me at the same time, I hate you for that. Now my pour soul is crowling inside of me wanting to smash things,to scream like a tiger and run until my heart explotes.But for me thats not possible cuz I haft to keep my sanity,I haft to go on, simple as that, cuz in this life,in this world is nobodys fault that im like this,im aware that im a product of my decisions(psicologically speaking of course),decisions that I hate and that in every bad moment comes to kick my reason and spit on my logic,they could change my surroundings into a desert and every friend in an enemy,in thouse moments I can just remember that the future is a chewing gum and the present is the air that I breathe so all I can do is keep walking and breathing cuz I  know that someday I will bumped whit you...I just hope to be more brave when that happens. 

At nights

                       

                

When the sun is in the sky I just cant stop,  my whole life depends on the movements of that simple star.But when the shadows grow and became a part of everything in my room I realize of  myself, and when i go to shut my window the cold air bite my skin, is such a sweet pain, remindes me that im alive, that im weak and that nothing is like it used to be.I go to bed and something is missing, but is such a familiar feeling since I discover that a pair of eyes can make me bleed inside.So at night when the monsters of solitude howl around me I fornicate whit silence,moaning my lonliness,I cover myself whit my blanket trying to remember how was to be inside of my mother.And there I think in tomorrow,I tortured my self whit it but just for a few seconds cuz i know its never going to come,thats when I look at the darkness and I know he is doing the same,my skyn burns,is a madness that  I can control, it feeds my  inspiration and the good thing about it is that my ink is just there in case that I want to explode whitout hurting anybody.